I forgot to take a photo before getting to the very dark club, so please forgive the flash.
Yes, it’s what it looks like. I made these mini cupcakes for the benefit show put on for my cancer-boy friend, Jim. I ended up making almost a gross of these, and I don’t think I need to tell you they went like hotcakes. They’re chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, then mocha frosting with a bit of pink food coloring for the boybits. If you’re offended, you can turn the photo upside-down in your mind and then they look like hearts. I loved that nobody knew they were vegan unless I told them and that they made people giggle. Between the money raised, the good times, and my friend’s recorded announcement that his tumors have pissed off to another dimension, it was a very good night.

Because Jim’s immune system is completely shot, he couldn’t be at the benefit. We had a laptop and WiFi so we Skyped him in, and Tom and I swung by his place earlier in the day to hang out…and give him a cupcake. This is his dog—I don’t remember what her name is, but she rather took a shine to me. Dogs don’t usually do that. Anyway, she’s way cute so I’m sharing her cuteness with you.

And in a blink of an eye it was time to go home. Oddly enough, I couldn’t find so much as a pretzel or bagel-n-peanut-butter at O’Hare. (Unlike the Salt Lake City airport, where we found several vegan and vegetarian options.) We ended up at Macaroni Grill, where we both ate the expletive out of some pomodoro. The crayons on the table were named after foodstuffs. This one made me sad—it’s not even Italian so it could just as easily be named blueberry or…well, I guess blueberry. But why not blueberry? When you’re aiming at children, why not a yummy, healthy fruit rather than gross, stinky cheese?

A funny thing happened while I was running errands: I accidentally went to the cupcake shop.

Saint Cupcake isn’t strictly a vegan cupcake shop, but they do have vegan versions of at least chocolate, vanilla, and an additional rotating flavor available every day. Not having been there before, I walked in and asked for “one of each vegan cupcake.” So that’s a chocolate-chocolate, a vanilla-vanilla, and a carrot cake. And they put my sweet little pretties in this super luxe box.

Last night Tom and I split the chocolate and vanilla, in the name of science, and we were both pretty darn impressed with the chocolate—heavy on the cocoa. Tom also gave the vanilla a thumbs-up, but I decided that I don’t think I like vanilla/yellow/whatever cake. I’d made some from VCTOTW and didn’t care much for them but I figured I’d done something wrong, but I didn’t care much for this one either. No bother, I do just fine with my chocolate. Oh, and the carrot! We just split the carrot cupcake a bit ago and both appreciated its spicy sass and fresh, carrot-y goodness.

Of course, cupcakes aren’t difficult to make, but sometimes it’s nice to pick up some treats on the fly. Or to just be lazy and splurge on the convenience. With advance notice Saint Cupcake will also do mini vegans. And they do weddings and ship too.

This is from last week, when we had our mini heatwave. I didn’t want to cook at all, but I’d not really planned ahead with no-cook meals, so this is a little-cook one. And whaddaya know? It’s super good.

I made the pesto first (takes all of two minutes), and in this nut-free household, pesto means basil, more garlic than most folk would use, olive oil, salt, and nutritional yeast. If I were in the mood, I would have thrown some hempseed or sunflower seeds in there so they could pretend they were pine nuts…but I’m really never in the mood.

Then, while the water was boiling for the pasta, I soaked the soy curls in hot water. And while the pasta is cooking, so are the soy curls, in a little olive oil and Butler soy curl chickeny-flavored seasoning. The timing’s perfect and all just gets tossed together with a pinch o’ crushed red pepper.

A super-rad dinner in 20 sweat-free minutes. Nice.

While I have you here, these are the Mexican Hot Chocolate cupcakes from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World. I made them for Tom’s birthday. A little spicy, a little coconutty, a lot chocolate. The inside is super delicate, and the tops are sorta craggy and crispy, as advertised. Very interesting—definitely nothing to be afraid of. We ate them alongside a scoop of Naked Coconut Coconut Bliss. ‘Twas a happy birthday indeed.

This is my friend’s go-to breakfast: the Paradox Benedict. I think you should win a free t-shirt or get your photo on the wall if you finish this thing, but I guess if you’re a six-and-a-half-foot-tall guy with the metabolism of a sea otter, this isn’t all that intimidating. He substitutes herb & onion bread for the regular sourdough, but the rest is standard issue: sausage patties, tomato, tofu, and vegan hollandaise sauce, with a side of the most reliably fantastic potatoes in the breakfast game.

To put this into better perspective, I ordered just two sides, the herb & onion bread and sausage patties. Those make up the bottom layer of this dish. Unfortunate side note: The sausage has changed since the last time I was there. It’s way grainier. With my consistency issues I just couldn’t get through the second patty. Tom didn’t mind, so maybe you won’t either.

So hiking, beauty, nature, sore knees…time to go to the airport! After unpacking and unwinding we headed over to Hungry Tiger Too, which I’ve written about so many times before. It’s blocks away, always has a table open, and has a very accommodating menu for your omnivore friends and family. To cap off the day, I pulled out the cupcakes I’ve been looking forward to making for weeks now…

Oh yes. It’s a bunch of recipes from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World. This is your basic chocolate cupcake, topped with peanut buttercream and drizzled with quick melty ganache. I hadn’t tested the whole to-do, so I was nervous about serving it to one old friend and one completely new friend, both omnis, but this baby went over like gangbusters. I even successfully piped my first frosting ever—this stuff is so light and subtle that it can handle the high-piling without stepping over the cupcake’s lines. Just perfect.

Sunday we made sure we got up early enough to beat the brunch crowd at Vita Cafe (also 10% off with your NW Veg card). Another go-to when you’ve got omni visitors, it’s almost always packed. In fact, we got there a half hour after they’d opened and still had to wait for a table. Luckily, two people who were alone in a booth noticed our group of four and moved over to the bar. Even though I said it yesterday, I’m saying it again, “Thank you. That was so unbelievably nice of you.”

Tom got the breakfast burrito, another gigantic heap o’ food (brought half home with him). It’s your choice of tofu or tempeh, plus veggies and chili, in a whole-wheat tortilla, topped with nutritional yeast–based cheese sauce, salsa, and guacamole. Oh, and then there’s the potatoes. I got the much less photogenic side of tempeh bacon and some herb & onion bread. (For those who don’t know, Paradox and Vita are sisters, so you can count on some shared menu items.)

We ran our full bellies all over Portland, tourist style, then before our friends left for the next leg of their trip (to check out UO in Eugene), we refilled the bellies with a carry-out spread from Nicholas. For $25, the four of us feasted on falafel, hummus, tabouli, and my favorite find: manakish. This is thyme, oregano, sesame seeds, sumac, and olive oil baked into a crispy crust. Tangy and fresh and good hot or cold.

How can this be the saddest/most depressed/whatever-that-poll-said-we-were city in the country?

In a couple of weeks we’ve got a friend (with his new ladyfriend) coming in for a visit, and he mentioned looking forward to vegan cupcakes. Last time he was here I Kahlua’d up some chocolate VCTOTW beauties, taking a cue from Destiny’s Vegan Kitchen. This time I’m going peanutty. I tried a sample batch of the VCTOTW peanut buttercream frosting/filling…it’s “Are you kidding me?!” good, super light and fluffy and not too sweet. I used Earth Balance in the tub for the margarine, Earth Balance sticks for the shortening, and Silk vanilla creamer for the milk/cream, and I went for the optional molasses. This recipe’s a keeper—I can see using it in non-cupcake situations, like a layered bar or in a light and dainty peanut butter cup. No photos, but there will be when I make the cupcakes, which will definitely be chocolate, maybe with some ganache drizzled over the top for a little extra zazz. ‘Cause I’m all about zazz.

Another bit of food I failed to photograph was today’s failed lunch: leftover bulgar stir-fried with shredded zucchini and onion. The flavor was there, but the consistency was so gross. I used really high heat to prevent the zucchini from bleeding its vital fluids, but it was still nothing more than veggie oatmeal. Strikes and gutters, man, strikes and gutters.

“Schlag creme” is what the German Soyatoo is called. “Schlag,” according to the Babelfish translator, means “impact.” Do with that information as you see fit. By going on the German version of the website, I did learn that the Germans have way more products than we get. They get a rice whipped cream, cheeses (I think—one’s called Soyabel Supreme Baked), cooking cream, and coffee creamer. I bet its engineering is far superior than any coffee creamer we’ve got over in these parts.

I dig the Soyatoo stuff we get over here in the states. The stuff in the box is what you see on this here cupcake (again, if you don’t have Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World, then get thee to a bookstore)—whipped for about three minutes, nothing added, just sprinkled with a little cocoa and cinnamon. I’ve also used the stuff in the box before, mixed with a ton of cocoa, as a layer for a chocolate cream pie .

Then there’s the can. It’s nitrous oxidy so it works as well as any other insti-whip. What I think strikes me most about these is the lower fat content, which makes for a cleaner mouthfeel. (I just said “mouthfeel.”) You don’t need a cup of coffee or a tooth-brushin’ after eating this. It just tastes like it’s better for you without being too healthy, because who wants that in a dessert? It’s a dessert. You have to love a dessert for its dessertness or…or…I don’t know, the terrorists win?

I’ve written about these babies before, jessigurr’s burger buns on Vegweb. I halve the recipe for my bread machine, and this time I added a handful of poppy seeds and some dried onion flakes with the rest of the ingredients. Super good. And I bought pickles for the first time in years. As much as I hate vinegar, I really do love a good dill pickle. Hey, Michele, that burger sure looks beefy. It’s amazingly not, and I know some people might question how I dare call myself a vegetarian, but, um, yeah, I think that’s dumb. (If you’ve seen the latest VegNews, you know what I’m talking about. If not—or even if you have—check out Lindy Loo’s rant.) Beautiful.

And as if I hadn’t had my fill of cupcakes lately, we felt there was no better way to celebrate doubling our income than a trip to Sweetpea. These are coconut cupcakes, and they were like no other cupcake I’ve had. The cake itself was pretty hearty, like banana cake, and the frosting wasn’t that overly sweet, high-note coconut flavor, but a more mellow, rich one that just perfectly complemented the cake. I was going to photograph them all pretty on a plate, but then I thought, with coconut cupcakes, who needs presentation? They’re coconut cupcakes.

Anyway, the night before I made cupcakes. It’s the margarita cupcake from VCTOTW. Very limeriffic. They’re tiny and light, perfect for a guilt-free dessert. The icing was really thin, especially in the heat, but it sure did taste good. They suggest rollling the edges in chunky sugar, but I could find none, so i colored up some of the icing and did a ring that way. Not perfect, but neither are you, bucko. So far we’re two for two with this cookbook. We’ve got a friend coming into town next month, so we’ll have to figure out what cupcake will fit that occasion. I’m leaning toward tiramisu, but that might be a bit ambitious.

What’s eaten up the rest of the week? Waiting for my background check to clear and getting an official job offer. After one month, three interviews, and a week-and-a-half-long background check, I finally got the job. You ever try crossing your fingers for a month straight? But it’s real now; I’m going to an orientation meeting today. So this is it, Portland, I’m here in every way. And now I’ll have extra cash, so time to find a tattoo shop! (Sorry, Dad, but you started it.) I know there’s a vegan one over at the vegan mini mall, but I don’t know anything about their artists. Maybe a walk over there this weekend to peruse their work?

So you can imagine, there hasn’t been a whole lot of creative cookery going on. Take last night’s dinner, a freezer-section spread: Trader Joe’s Nasi Goreng with some edamame thrown in and some kinda spring rolls. After making your own spring rolls, how do you go back to frozen?! So not super exciting, but when all you can concentrate on is exhaling, it’ll do.

We went to Vita Cafe the other night (no photos) and I tried two new things: the Italian pasta (minus veggie sausage) and BBQ things. The pasta was a bit overdone, but filling and tasty enough. But the tofu—they’ve got Buffalo and BBQ options for this appetizer of fried, very firm tofu rolled in sauce, served as Buffalo wings. Buffalo sauce has way too much vinegar for me so we went with the BBQ. Still a bit of vinegar in there, but pretty good. I would rather have it served dry so I could dip sparingly, but that’s hardly in the Buffalo spirit. I was so pleased, the next night I made fried tofu with BBQ sauce. A new favorite?

That’s all I can muster right now. I’ve taken some photos over the week, but their time has passed. The future should afford some more good stuff. Oh, and this is post 101. I meant to throw some virtual confetti for post 100, but I forgot. So here we are. Whoo!

This is Mecha Sad Bear (from Luke Chueh—check him out if you don’t know him), one of the presents Tom bought me even though I said I don’t deserve any presents because I’m a good-fer-nothin’, piece-o-crap, unemployed, 35-year-old hausfrau. He also got me a gigantic nutrition book. The plain truth is, though, I suck at birthdays. I think I always have—the song always sent me running and I’ve never been able to open presents in front of people. They’re just not the super happy fun time I think they’re supposed to be. And aging…well, I’ve yet to find a positive there. Oh, you mean it’s going to take an additional 20 sit-ups a night just to maintain my untoned body? Awesome!

I figured this year I was mature enough to try something (the veg version of it) I’ve not had since before I was 10 years old: breakfast sausage. This is Gimme Lean, the kind in the tube, alongside wheatberry sourdough toast. I couldn’t eat the sausage on its own so I made a little sandwich. I’ll pepper it up next time. That’s right, next time. I could do this again. I wanted to try it because I see it on menus and I want to be able to order it. And this one is fat-free and packin’ a bunch of protein.

After a little birthday trip to New Seasons, we made ourselves some everything bagels with everything Tofutti cream cheese. I thought the bagels were a little white-bready, not chewy enough, but they served to carry all the seeds and scallions and things.

Dinner was a tiny one. It got pretty hot today so we weren’t crazy hungry. I made these Rising Moon Organics garlic & roasted veggies ravioli (tough to find this kind, even in stores that sell other varieties) and topped them with a simple olive oil/garlic/shallot/red pepper/parsley/panko sauce-for-the-lack-of-a-better-name. This would otherwise have to be accompanied by something to meal it up, even just a big salad.

And what would a birthday be without cupcakes? I made VCTOTW chocolate cupcakes and some buttercream frosting. I tried to make a few uncomfortably awkward colors and swirl them together for the ugliest cupcake contest, but it ended up looking kinda neat. I did play around with tips and bags to make pretty flowers and things, to see if frosting sculpture was my hidden talent. It isn’t. Whatever, it tastes the same. These cupcakes are really amazing—maybe the best cupcake I’ve ever had, light and fluffy and moist. I took one bite and said (out loud, going against my reserved nature) “Hell, yes.” After we go through this batch (and following my cookies from last weekend) I’ll want to steer clear of sweets for a while, but Tom’s birthday is in a month, so we’ll see what happens then. He’s eyeing the margarita cupcakes.

Oh yeah, it’s Mädchen’s birthday too. Not really, but because she was feral and they figure her birthday is early July we just gave her mine. She’s 12 and didn’t really want to wear this little hat I made for her because she’s a spoiled, bratty pre-teen. And a cat. And a nudist.

I don’t have any photos yet—I’ll be making cupcakes for my birthday this weekend, so I wanted to get started making little flowers and bugs and things with the frosting. I’ve never done this before so I need experimentation time. I found an index of basic techniques on Wilton’s site. Most have photos and step-by-step instructions, including which tips you need. Check it out—there’s kind of a creepy-looking pig on there…not really what I’d be going for if I wanted a pig on my cake.

Some other good sites for inspiration are the VCTOTW blog and the vegan cupcakes flickr pool. And then there’s always Martha.

I don’t think I’m going to fight the urge to make each cupcake wildly different. I know it’ll mean a lot of work, but it should be fun work, like cleaning beaters with your tongue. And who knows, I can’t draw or paint, but maybe frosting sculpture is my thing. My hidden talent.

By the way, Portland people, I just picked up Earth Balance at Whole Foods for $2.69.