Not just because it’s awesome in muffins and cookies, but oatmeal can also be used in an old-timey, no-nonsense breakfast treat.

If you know me and my eating habits/quirks, then you might be surprised by my love of oatmeal. Granted, I love MY oatmeal and am too afraid to order it out. (Although one day I was penned into a Starbucks lunch and the only vegan thing they had to offer was the oatmeal and I got through it—they gave me little packets of dried fruit, nuts, and brown sugar to mix in according to my desires.)

I think oatmeal got a pass by always being there. I was raised with it. Growing up I ate those little instant oatmeal packets (apples and cinnamon, maple and brown sugar—you know the ones), and when I first joined the workforce, I ate those grown-up instant oatmeal packets that were made for women only. I don’t know if they’re vegan, but even if they are, I would no longer eat those packets.

Today I employ a pot, a little less water than suggested (for a firmer oat), Bob’s Red Mill organic thick rolled oats, and some special flavorings. I add to my water just a smidge of the following: salt, molasses, cinnamon, and cocoa powder. Then, when it’s done—not done to death—I add some more smidges of stuff: brown sugar and Earth Balance. The result is a full-bodied, complex bowl of loveliness.

I’ll leave you with a shot of just the type of morning I love to start with said oatmeal. Thanks, Portland.

We used the omelet recipe from Isa’s new brunch book. The reviews have been good, even from people who’d had vegan omelet failures in the past, so our confidence was boosted. The recipe was quick and easy, just whizzin’ everything together in the food ninja. The fact that Tom helped me make them may have kept any psychosomatic allergic reaction at bay—no itchy mouth, like when I’ve used hempseed in the place of tree nuts (he’s like the boy in the plastic bubble, I tell ya).

Mine (up top) has kale, leek, and scallion in it. Tom (that’s his right there) went with cheddar Daiya cheese, two types of peppers, and scallion. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t taste like eggs, but it serves the same purpose, it’s light and fluffy yet moist. We decided to think of it as a savory tofu pancake. The consistency was a little off-putting at first, but I got through it. I had some leftover batter, so the next morning I fried it up, scrambly style, and ate it with some toast. It went a little easier. So I think this is something we can work into regular rotation. Aside from <insert vegetables you’ve got in the fridge> and standard cupboard staples, all it takes is a tub of silken tofu.

So that’s two food phobias I’ve muscled my way through this Rocktober. I know last time I was urged to go with the pot pie, but I checked out a recipe and it was too, too scary. I can’t even eat soup, let alone thick gravy with way-cooked vegetables and seitan in it! Baby steps, folks, and the month is young.

This is my friend’s go-to breakfast: the Paradox Benedict. I think you should win a free t-shirt or get your photo on the wall if you finish this thing, but I guess if you’re a six-and-a-half-foot-tall guy with the metabolism of a sea otter, this isn’t all that intimidating. He substitutes herb & onion bread for the regular sourdough, but the rest is standard issue: sausage patties, tomato, tofu, and vegan hollandaise sauce, with a side of the most reliably fantastic potatoes in the breakfast game.

To put this into better perspective, I ordered just two sides, the herb & onion bread and sausage patties. Those make up the bottom layer of this dish. Unfortunate side note: The sausage has changed since the last time I was there. It’s way grainier. With my consistency issues I just couldn’t get through the second patty. Tom didn’t mind, so maybe you won’t either.

So hiking, beauty, nature, sore knees…time to go to the airport! After unpacking and unwinding we headed over to Hungry Tiger Too, which I’ve written about so many times before. It’s blocks away, always has a table open, and has a very accommodating menu for your omnivore friends and family. To cap off the day, I pulled out the cupcakes I’ve been looking forward to making for weeks now…

Oh yes. It’s a bunch of recipes from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World. This is your basic chocolate cupcake, topped with peanut buttercream and drizzled with quick melty ganache. I hadn’t tested the whole to-do, so I was nervous about serving it to one old friend and one completely new friend, both omnis, but this baby went over like gangbusters. I even successfully piped my first frosting ever—this stuff is so light and subtle that it can handle the high-piling without stepping over the cupcake’s lines. Just perfect.

Sunday we made sure we got up early enough to beat the brunch crowd at Vita Cafe (also 10% off with your NW Veg card). Another go-to when you’ve got omni visitors, it’s almost always packed. In fact, we got there a half hour after they’d opened and still had to wait for a table. Luckily, two people who were alone in a booth noticed our group of four and moved over to the bar. Even though I said it yesterday, I’m saying it again, “Thank you. That was so unbelievably nice of you.”

Tom got the breakfast burrito, another gigantic heap o’ food (brought half home with him). It’s your choice of tofu or tempeh, plus veggies and chili, in a whole-wheat tortilla, topped with nutritional yeast–based cheese sauce, salsa, and guacamole. Oh, and then there’s the potatoes. I got the much less photogenic side of tempeh bacon and some herb & onion bread. (For those who don’t know, Paradox and Vita are sisters, so you can count on some shared menu items.)

We ran our full bellies all over Portland, tourist style, then before our friends left for the next leg of their trip (to check out UO in Eugene), we refilled the bellies with a carry-out spread from Nicholas. For $25, the four of us feasted on falafel, hummus, tabouli, and my favorite find: manakish. This is thyme, oregano, sesame seeds, sumac, and olive oil baked into a crispy crust. Tangy and fresh and good hot or cold.

Every time I make this, I laugh. I laugh because I pick up my copy of Vegan with a Vengeance, open it to the recipe, and picture the mom on “Better Off Dead” trying to impress the foreign exchange student with her continental cuisine. And then I picture Ricky’s mom blowing up. Oh, ’80s cinema, you’re always there for me.

I alter the recipe in two ways: I add a couple shakes of really good cinnamon, and while I use plain Silk creamer, I opt for vanilla soymilk. This sweetens it up and gives it the flair only cinnamon can. And I may have been brought up to sprinkle my french toast with powdered sugar, but I’m now a splash-of-maple-syrup gal (the real stuff).

Today’s breakfast was a little more special because I used bread I made in my bread machine. It’s a really dense white bread with some Earth Balance and a smidge of sugar in it. Because it was pretty fresh, I threw the slices in the fridge for a while to dry them out. The results were favorable—or should I say flavorable—it was like a healthy donut, rich and moist.

After breakfast, we went on a bike ride (because we hit 60 today, unlike Chicago, where it snowed!) and saw maybe the saddest thing ever: a dad with his kids…wait for it…on unicycles. The 6-year-oldish boy was the only one still riding the unicycle. The dad was carrying his and the 4-year-oldish girl’s. I mean, I get it, it was his weekend with the kids and he wanted to do something fun, to share something he loved with them. But come on, isn’t the unicycle the reason she left in the first place?

We got to at least have dinner together almost every night, managing to find something for everyone. Apparently, Vita makes a damn good burger (the beef kind) and Hungry Tiger Too serves a decent fish ‘n’ chips (the kind not made of tofu). My mom got to have her first TLT, which beats ordering a BLT and pulling out the B, so that was cool.

So today was our run-around-and-get-ready-for-the-week day. We started off late, and my grand plans of French toast and sausage turned into just regular ol’ toast and sausage. But it scored some points for kinda looking like a face.

Then we rode our bikes over the Steel Bridge to REI for some coat and bike rack shopping. On our way back, we stopped by Nicholas’ for carry-out. Here’s their menu. I got tabouli and a shatta pizza. It’s hot red pepper with onion, sesame seeds, and olive oil. It was too soggy for me to eat (probably from the commute), but Tom liked it. He got falafel too. It was more than enough to see us through lunch and dinner.

Then, to make up for the calories we burned on our bike ride, we split a Sweet ‘n’ Sara peanut butter s’more. So freakin’ good.

I know I’ve written about Sweatpea—and even their marionberry muffin—before, but it was so exceptionally exceptional yesterday that I had to share it with you again.

We had a hankerin’ for Sweatpea so we did chores until they opened at 9:00 (they are open earlier on weekdays), then drove on over (there was no time for walking). I had a bit of a headache so I had a fight with myself over ordering the chocolate chip scone, because that’s so predictable, so like me to want chocolate, and I said, “You’re gettin’ berries, little miss.” It sounds like I was punishing myself, I know, but their berry treats are always good too, so I don’t know where I was really going with that.

Anyway, Tom went with his usual marionberry scone, and when I picked up the bag it was warm. Which one of us got the just-out-of-the-oven treat? Once we got into the car I knew it was me, because the smell of marionberry muffin was so strong, the three minutes it took to drive home took for-friggin’-ever. And, of course, the taste matched the smell. A still-warm berry muffin…perhaps the best muffin ever? Yeah, I’ll say it: The best muffin ever.

Oh, and here’s some graffiti, Portland-style.

I’ve spent a bit of time lately obsessing over biscuits. I’ll spare you the details, but I think I found a good one, from La Dolce Vegan! It’s just a plain ol’ baking powder biscuit, but it’s got enough fluff to it to make it interesting.

I did the prep last night, cutting the Earth Balance into the dry ingredients, then I threw it in the fridge. All I had to do this morning was add the vinegary milk and roll ‘em out. A couple of veggie sausages hitched a ride on the cookie sheet and, what do you know, breakfast.

On an unrelated note, I’d like to thank my local Swatch Doctor. I found one of my old swatches (circa 2003, not 1987) and wanted to breathe some new life in it, for $16 he put on a new band and battery and buffed the scratches out of the face. Recycling and penny pinching—and a warm feeling that customer service is not dead.

This is Mecha Sad Bear (from Luke Chueh—check him out if you don’t know him), one of the presents Tom bought me even though I said I don’t deserve any presents because I’m a good-fer-nothin’, piece-o-crap, unemployed, 35-year-old hausfrau. He also got me a gigantic nutrition book. The plain truth is, though, I suck at birthdays. I think I always have—the song always sent me running and I’ve never been able to open presents in front of people. They’re just not the super happy fun time I think they’re supposed to be. And aging…well, I’ve yet to find a positive there. Oh, you mean it’s going to take an additional 20 sit-ups a night just to maintain my untoned body? Awesome!

I figured this year I was mature enough to try something (the veg version of it) I’ve not had since before I was 10 years old: breakfast sausage. This is Gimme Lean, the kind in the tube, alongside wheatberry sourdough toast. I couldn’t eat the sausage on its own so I made a little sandwich. I’ll pepper it up next time. That’s right, next time. I could do this again. I wanted to try it because I see it on menus and I want to be able to order it. And this one is fat-free and packin’ a bunch of protein.

After a little birthday trip to New Seasons, we made ourselves some everything bagels with everything Tofutti cream cheese. I thought the bagels were a little white-bready, not chewy enough, but they served to carry all the seeds and scallions and things.

Dinner was a tiny one. It got pretty hot today so we weren’t crazy hungry. I made these Rising Moon Organics garlic & roasted veggies ravioli (tough to find this kind, even in stores that sell other varieties) and topped them with a simple olive oil/garlic/shallot/red pepper/parsley/panko sauce-for-the-lack-of-a-better-name. This would otherwise have to be accompanied by something to meal it up, even just a big salad.

And what would a birthday be without cupcakes? I made VCTOTW chocolate cupcakes and some buttercream frosting. I tried to make a few uncomfortably awkward colors and swirl them together for the ugliest cupcake contest, but it ended up looking kinda neat. I did play around with tips and bags to make pretty flowers and things, to see if frosting sculpture was my hidden talent. It isn’t. Whatever, it tastes the same. These cupcakes are really amazing—maybe the best cupcake I’ve ever had, light and fluffy and moist. I took one bite and said (out loud, going against my reserved nature) “Hell, yes.” After we go through this batch (and following my cookies from last weekend) I’ll want to steer clear of sweets for a while, but Tom’s birthday is in a month, so we’ll see what happens then. He’s eyeing the margarita cupcakes.

Oh yeah, it’s Mädchen’s birthday too. Not really, but because she was feral and they figure her birthday is early July we just gave her mine. She’s 12 and didn’t really want to wear this little hat I made for her because she’s a spoiled, bratty pre-teen. And a cat. And a nudist.

 
I’d picked up a big ol’ bunch of strawberries earlier in the day so we figured we may as well skip the packaged margarita mixes. They’re all the same: strawberry puree, lime juice, corn syrup, and some other acids and colors and stuff. We just added lime juice and agave nectar to our strawberries, ice, and silver tequila. Especially on a 90° evening, it hit the spot.

And no, I don’t care if that’s not a margarita glass. I’m not going to buy something to use it once a year.

Saturday morning we ripped open the sample bag of Bob’s Red Mill organic 7-grain pancake & waffle mix I’d gotten at Vegfest. As you can see, the directions were modified for the audience. I went with the egg replacer option and added some cinnamon too. I remembered too late that I had an apple sitting in the fridge, even though I’d specifically looked at that apple the night before and said, “You’re goin’ in my pancakes.” They were pretty good. I almost added more mix because they were liquidy, but I waited a minute and all those whole grains drank it up. I don’t know if I’d buy this, given that pancakes are so easy to make from scratch.

Sharing my plate is a bowl of some more of those strawberries and some Trader Joe’s pears (the kind in the glass jar with grape juice). Since the strawberries weren’t really up to par (still too early around here?), the grape-juicy pears helped quite a bit. I still have a handful of strawberries left; maybe I’ll just freeze them for smoothie use at a later date.

This morning, Tom and I picked up a cinnamon scone and a marionberry muffin. Tom usually gets the marionberry scone, but there were none to be found. I just like saying “marionberry” because it makes me think of the crackhead D.C. mayor every time. And yes, I giggle to myself every time.

The scone is really a scone, not a muffin or a sweet biscuit shaped like a scone. It’s about 5 inches across and has a middle layer of cinnamon.

This muffin is what our omni friend Morgan had when he helped us move down here. He uttered those words you wait to hear from an omni eater: “If you didn’t tell me, I wouldn’t know it was vegan.” It’s true. I’ve had some crappy muffins—I’ve made some crappy muffins—but this one’s damn good. I cut it in half so Tom and I could share and had to shoot this cross-section photo.

And finally, here’s a bunch of Mädchen photos, from the time I sat down with my plate (her eyes didn’t leave my plate until I gave it to her to lick clean) until she was done with the crumbs and ready to nap.

Doing her version of begging

Scavenging

Ready to pass out after getting her way