dunchymofo: biscuits and fake bacon, y’all


I’m not one of those mealists—you know, people who believe certain foods are only allowed at certain meals, at certain times of the day. I will eat garlic at 8 am, or pancakes long after the sun goes down. I’m just liberated that way, I guess.

So this sandwich right here was the perfect 3 pm “We ate breakfast late and we’ll probably skip dinner” meal. Dunch, I suppose. (By the way, someone please open a place called Brunch & Dunch and rope off a corner booth that can act as my office so I can eat there all the time?) It’s a biscuit from Sweetpea, Upton’s Naturals bacon seitan, avocado, and onion. And it was so huge I couldn’t eat it without making an enormous, delicious mess.

I’ve been thinking about vegan bacon lately. I’m hoping this country’s bacon obsession has pretty much run its course and will join the ranks of zombies and ironic cheap beer in the land of done-to-death trends, because I’m so over having to smell it when I’m at omni joints. The funny thing is, I know we have all sorts of vegan bacon-alikes—the Phoney Baloney bacony coconut shreds, Upton’s, and the gazillion homemade tempeh, eggplant, and tofu varieties—but I don’t know that they taste or smell like bacon. It’s been almost 30 years since I’ve eaten bacon, and I’m grossed out by the smell of pork bacon, so why do I love the smoky, rich taste and smell of vegan bacon? I don’t have an answer; like I said, I’ve just been thinking about it lately. It’s pretty weird.

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