my wish list

I don’t want to come off as a whiner, but I have a vegan wish list. Of course I can’t expect the world to cater to my special needs, but such is the way with wish lists.

•I want a decent vegan hot dog. I’ve tried a bunch and can’t get beyond the first bite. Before I went vegan, I ate Morningstar Farms veggie dogs. They didn’t squish in the bun and they had some sort of flavor to them. I don’t know what was in them that was key, but I’m guessing they could figure out a vegan version. I read that they’re working to cut back on their egg use and creating more vegan products. Note to Morningstar Farms: Start with the veggie dog! Then take care of the buffalo wings. That’s all I need from you.

•I know it’s probably vegan, but I don’t know how I could get my grubby little hands on it here: chocolate ice. In Brooklyn, I could go to my little neighborhood pizza place (or the one across the street from it…or the one down the street from that one) and get me a chocolate ice. I searched online for it and it looks like it has a name, granita, and I could make it myself with cocoa, sugar, water, a freezer, and a fork. But I want to be able to get up on a summer evening and walk over and get my little paper cup of chocolate ice.

•Speaking of pizza places, I want to order a pizza for delivery—with soy cheese. Chicago style would be ideal, but I’ll take just about any type of crust/sauce/soy cheese arrangement.

•Even the dairy-free want a convenient espresso & cream drink in a can. A nondairy Starbucks DoubleShot? They’ve got the “light” version, with less fat and sugar, so why not? Somebody else could make it—I definitely have no loyalty to Starbucks.

•Being a crotchety old lady in a walking city, I want a decent pair of shoes. I e-mailed Simple once to ask about the Sugar shoe in a non-suede. I was lead in a most markety, polite way to their eco & green-toe lines because they have some hemp shoes. I don’t want hemp shoes that look like they’re hemp shoes! If Earth can figure out how to make a fakey suede, why can’t you, Simple? It’s not Simple’s fault. If Camper, Puma, and all the rest of them semi-affordable shoemakers haven’t come around, I can’t expect Simple to. I’m just tired of wearing my ill-fitting Ben Shermans.

These are very doable things. We have figured so many foods and products out—melty soy mozzerellamarshmallows (and smores!), french toast, and whipped cream—we’re making our own Golden Age. We’ve got Russell Simmons and light-n-pretty cupcakes—who could have predicted that 20 years ago?

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